


I Can't Help (but love you)

by AlecWinchester



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec and Magnus will always fall in love, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, Denial of Feelings, Enemies to Lovers, Forbidden Love, Gangs, Hate to Love, Inspired by Romeo and Juliet, M/M, Motorcycles and violence, Porn With Plot, Rivalry, they're playing a dangerous game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-02-28 04:04:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13263297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlecWinchester/pseuds/AlecWinchester
Summary: Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood are rival leaders of separate motocycle gangs that hate each other, the Downworlders and Shadowhunters, they were meant to be enemies, they were never supposed to meet that day at the bar and they most certainly weren't supposed to fall in love. They know being together is a dangerous game, but they just can't stay away.After all, you can't stop fate.





	1. Even Though I Try Not To

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off a [concept](https://twitter.com/alecwinchesterr/status/933004061670105088) I wrote way back when, and I finally gained the courage to write it! Anyway, this is for you Yara, I know how long you waited for this, angel of mine. Also a quick dedication to Madison, the Softest™ gc and Heartbreakers™, I am forever grateful for you all, I am lost without your love and support, thank you for hyping me and believing in me, my angels you are my everything, I am truly blessed.  
> \---  
> Anywho, my darling readers, love you and hope you enjoy this!

**_Present_ **

Looking back on it, Alec thinks he knew, deep down, that it would always end like this way; bloody and sad. It the only way it was ever going to for him in this life. He lived and died in this life, it was his legacy after all, to lead the Shadowhunters, no matter how dangerous, the criminal world was the only he ever knew.

He would give his life for it, for the people in it; _the people he loved_.

But the one thing he could've never predicted, was that he would end up here, on his knees, his heart spilling onto the concrete at his feet, lungs void of air, begging Magnus Bane to stay.

Alec Lightwood knew his life would end violent, he knew it, but he never imagined dying at the hands of the man he loved.

And not for second did he ever consider that man would be Magnus Bane.

\----

**_Past_ **

It happened by chance. 

On a rare night, when Alec can slip away from the others. Cigarette in hand he finds his way into a dully lit but expensive bar. 

Dressed all in black; a suit worth thousands of dollars and barely there magenta colour streaked across his lips. Deciding to forego his usual leather for something a little fancier, he scans the room for any potential hook ups for the night, as he sits at the bar, sipping at his strong drink, but there is no one that catches his eye...until  _he_ walks in and Alec's mouth goes dry.

A beautiful man, dressed to the nines in impeccable and no doubt expensive clothing. His iridescent purple-blue jacket shimmering in the dull light much like the many rings on his hands. His hair black and spiky, blue highlights running through his locks matching his jacket. His make-up flawless, perfect contour, a stunning smoky eye with sharp eyeliner and glitter perfectly accentuating his cheekbones.

He was gorgeous, and of course Alec knew who he was. The leader of the Downworlders, Magnus Bane. _His rival_. 

It didn't matter how handsome he was, it didn't matter how he looked ethereal; almost godlike in comparison to everyone else in the bar. It didn't matter, because they were enemies. Rival gangs, for as long as Alec could remember. So, Alec focused back on his drink, sipping slowly as he steadfastly ignored the man who just walked in.

That is until he sat down right next to Alec at the bar and ordered a drink for himself.

Alec tensed up, but Magnus Bane said nothing, instead focusing on his own drink. Alec quickly downed his and waved for another. Magnus did the same. Neither spoke, but eventually they both begun relaxing a fraction as they downed their drinks.

It isn't until their fourth drink that their eyes meet, liquid gold with a dark forest.

Magnus proceeds to drag his eyes downward Alec's body; Alec aware of his stare trailing down his entire being, with something akin to admiration, he tries his best not to squirm in his seat and Magnus' eyes travel back up to meet his, once again.

He tries to remain passive as he chooses his words carefully, settling with a simple, "What are you doing exactly?"

Magnus shrugs elegantly, "Enjoying a drink with a beautiful man."

Alec narrowed his eyes, "No, you know what I mean. We're not friends Mr. Bane, we're enemies. In territory, races, _everything_."

Magnus laughed lightly, amused by Alec's words, "Well you are sitting beside me, and talking to me," he paused, before smirking teasingly, "plus you know what they say about hate sex...the more you hate the person, the more delicious."

Alec's lips quirk a bit at that, "Wow, that was horrible. I thought the leader of the Downworlders would have more class than that"

"I'll have you know, Mr. Lightwood, I have more class than anyone else in this bar," Magnus winks, and no Alec did not blush in response. He's a mean, strong, bad criminal, he doesn't blush. But it's too late because Magnus notices and bursts into laughter, "Oh my god, I made you blush _. Aww_ isn't that the cutest thing I have ever seen. I made the big scary Shadowhunter leader blush."

Alec shook his head, a protest vehement on his lips, "Shut up, I did _not_ blush."

Magnus hummed, "Sure, sure whatever you say _pretty boy_. Don't worry, in fact, I think you blush quite beautifully."

Alec rolled his eyes," Stop it."

"Stop what?" Magnus asked in perfectly feigned innocence.

Alec sighed, exasperated, "This--" He waved at the space between them, that had somehow gotten smaller as time went on, "whatever you're doing, _stop_ with all that compliment stuff."

Magnus bit his lip, "and why should I do that?"

"Because!" Alec burst out, "then I might actually do something about it, and we both know I shouldn't!"

Magnus leaned in, only stopping when they were an inch apart, making Alec's breath stutter in his throat, somehow, even up-close Magnus looked absolutely stunning, not a flaw visible. "Do something Alexander, _I dare you_."

And maybe because they were both a little drunk, and it's been a long time--way too long (maybe it's because Alec wanted to) or maybe it's because Alec has never been one to resist a dare, but Alec leans in, closing the space in between them, kissing Magnus firm and deep; full of thirst, on the mouth. It's messy and a little desperate, by far not the most perfect kiss, but it's toe-curling delicious, and when they separate, they're both breathing heavily, but before a conscious thought could be formed in Alec's brain, Magnus is leaning in again, capturing Alec's lips with him.

And they kiss again, once, twice, thrice.

Alec feels like he is drowning and flying at the same time; all he can feel, taste and breathe is Magnus and he would gladly forego breathing if it meant kissing Magnus forever. They kissed for what seemed like hours, but, must have only been minutes; electricity soared through Alec's veins, making his blood sing with something bright and wild, something like desire. He felt his heart jumpstart in his chest, going a mile a minute as Magnus tilted his head, kissing him deeper, like a man dying of thirst. It's all so good, until they really do need to breathe, they reluctantly pull back once more and their eyes lock and realization dawns simultaneously on both their faces.

_What the fuck did they just do?_

They just kissed--no scratch that they full on made out, Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane; Shadowhunter and Downworlder, built to be rivals, enemies to their very last breath. They were supposed to hate each other with resentment flowing through their blood, but instead all Alec could feel was want. They pull back more, untangling from each other as fast as possible. They're rivals, they hate each other. And they pause, eyes on each other, just looking, knowing they should walk away, pretend it never happened because it can't. It's dangerous. Wild. Forbidden.

They shouldn't. Do. This. So, they pull away to the each of their seats, distancing themselves from each other, breathing deeply, getting themselves under control and then Magnus stands, without a word he throws money on the bar and walks away, without so much as a glance back.

Alec breathes in deep, tries to get himself under control, and orders another drink. He downs it quickly, desperate to get the taste of Magnus off him tongue, trying to ignore the forbidden desire shooting through his entire body, singeing him like fire. His heart settles deep in his chest, something akin to disappointment wrapping its skin around him, but he shakes it off, he can't want this, it was a mistake, everything that just transpired, and he needs to forget it. He needs to forget how free _, how alive_ he felt with Magnus' lips on his.

 _It's for the best_ , he thinks, that Magnus left.

But then something catches at the corner and he sees it.

A room key, to a hotel room. Specifically, the one this bar belonged to. And he knows just who left it.

Alec freezes, He shouldn't. He should walk away, right out this bar and never look back, he should pretend he never saw it, sitting there, glaring at him, tempting him on the bar's surface. He throws down his money, puts on his jacket, getting ready to leave, to go home, alone, like he's supposed to.

 _(he can't risk it, it's too dangerous_ )

He grabs the card anyway.

\----

The walk down the hallway feels unreal, as if Alec's body is acting on its own and Alec is watching from the outside, it's nerve wracking. He stops in front of the door with the number on the key-card and stands in front of it. Pausing for a moment, just thinking, _knowing_ , the very moment he unlocks this door everything is going to change, it's all gonna shift, he knows, it was going to turn his world off its axis. This is his enemy after all, his rival, someone Alec has spent years hating after taking over his parents' place.

They would be so disappointed in him.

He unlocks the door anyway.

He finds Magnus on the other side, back to Alec, facing the window, a wine glass in his hand, another one on the table, as if he knew Alec would come. He turns around as Alec comes further into the room, holding out the second wine glass wordlessly, a dangerous smirk playing on his lips. And Alec can feel the heat of anticipation pool low in his belly.

He accepts the wine glass, in one go he downs it and looks expectantly at Magnus, who smirks back, "not in the mood for wine and chill then?"

Alec shrugs, a deep want and alcohol running courageously through his veins, "I don't want that, I want you."

Magnus drains his own glass and sets it on the table, and walks towards Alec. Shoulders swaying seductively, and Alec gulped, the low light of the room casting a glow over Magnus, highlighting the glitter streaked across his sharp cheekbones, his bronze eyeshadow shining, accentuating the gold of his eyes. His lips, plump and glistening with a gloss, a forbidden fruit that Alec wanted to desperately sink his teeth into.

He looked beautiful; and Alec—he wanted so _goddamned much_.

He stops right in front of Alec, looking at him under his eyelashes, coy, “So take me…or should I take you?” He reaches up, trailing his hands up Alec’s suit jacket and dress shirt, and stops at his buttons. He unbuttons one, two, a third one.

With every button Alec can feel himself tremble, Magnus continues this slow descent, one by one, until Alec’s shirt is hanging open, untucked from his pants, his chest on full display. Magnus bites his lip and Alec almost groans at loud, wishing he was the one into him instead, he smirks up at Alec approvingly, “Someone works out.”

Alec huffs out a trembling laugh, feeling the tension of the room fade slightly. Until Magnus puts his hands on him. He strokes up Alec’s bare chest, tracing up his abdominal muscles; admiring hands squeezing at his pectorals, stopping for a moment to flick Alec’s nipples, causing Alec to strangle a shout in his throat. Magnus trails his hands back down Alec’s chest, letting his nails scrape delicately against his abs—and Alec breaks.

He surges forward into Magnus’ space and he kisses him, licking into his mouth with ease. He lets his hands trail down, grabbing Magnus by the waist and pulling him in until he is flush against him. Magnus doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Alec’s neck, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Alec hums into Magnus’ mouth and his hands are skating down Magnus’ waist and gripping at his ass. Magnus moans, the sound causing Alec’s hips to jump forward. The friction as their hips bump is deliciously tortuous and Alec wants, no he _needs_ , more. In one move, he moves his hands to Magnus’ thighs and grips tight before lifting him up. Magnus laughed in surprise but followed the movement perfectly, settling his legs tight around Alec’s waist, “fuck, that was hot.”

This time Alec smirked and moved them towards the bed, almost stumbling as Magnus sucked a hickey into his neck. He tipped them over onto the bed, so he was on top of Magnus and they were kissing again; gripping each other tightly as they moved against one another. The air around them was charged with electricity, sending jolt after jolt up Alec’s spine, singing in his veins as every kiss, stroke and thrust awakened something hungry and full of want deep inside him. They sunk into a rhythm, a perfect fit, lips and hands blazing, leaving a trail of fever in their wake. Kisses spreading, licking and biting across shoulders, collarbones and hands dancing across feverish skin, flushed with want. Clothes were shed quickly until they were down to their underwear and normally Alec liked taking his time, it made things that much more exquisite, but right now Alec needed more, he needed it hard, fast, wild, _fuck_ , he needed Magnus inside him, _yesterday_.

He looks down at Magnus whose own eyes were hooded and focused; almost glowing as they admired Alec, following the movement of his own hands as they trail down Alec’s body, hands splayed as they painted lines of desires down the shadow of Alec’s ribs, abs and back up to his nipples; and sticking there, pinching Alec’s already hard nipples, making him gasp and arch into the light pressure. Magnus pinches harder and thrusts up at the same time and Alec can’t help it as his eyes slip close, a whine escaping his lips.

His clothed cock dragging, _slowly,_ grinding so close to where Alec needed him, “Please, gods, _Magnus._ ” He grinds down against Magnus cock, relishing in the waves of pleasure that roll over him at the friction.

Magnus growls in response and flips them over, he looks down at Alec, Adam’s apple bobbing, and Alec just wants to bite, “You sure you’re ready?”

Alec nodded desperately, canting his hips up to show just how much. Magnus groaned before quickly moving to get their underwear’s off before returning back on top of Alec, who gripped Magnus’ weeping cock in his hand together with his, making both their eyes roll back in pleasure as they moved against one another. Magnus hid his face in Alec’s neck and he met Alec thrust for thrust, biting at the skin there, before pulling away completely, Alec barely suppressing a whimper at the loss of touch, Magnus scrambled, panting, “Neither of us is going to last if we continue like that.”

He quickly grabbed at the nightstand and Alec saw it was a condom and he laughed at the convenience of it’s placement, “Well aren’t you prepared, how did you know I was going to come.”

Magnus shrugged, slipping on a condom and lining up, “I was just hoping for a good fuck from someone, I didn’t expect this, but fuck, you’re gorgeous, it’s better than I imagined.” He slid into Alec carefully, deliciously stretching Alec, inch by inch. Alec let out a long breath as Magnus bottomed out, sheathed fully inside him and Alec wrapped his legs loosely around Magnus’ back. Everything was hot, and Alec could hear blood singing in his ears, Magnus hovered over him, trembling in effort not to move, still even with him just inside, white hot spark of pleasure were dancing in front of Alec’s eyes, he needed more, “Can I move?” Magnus asked.

His voice sounded wrecked and rough, _sexy_ , Alec couldn’t help the shiver that swept up his spine. He dug his heels into Magnus’ lower back, “Yes, fuck, _Magnus._ ” He whimpers as Magnus almost pulls out, sliding halfway out of him and then he’s fucking back into him, hard and fast, punching a loud moan out Alec as he scrambled for purchase. His toes curl in pleasure, with every thrust, aimed perfectly, just where Alec needs him most. There is sweat sliding down his neck as Magnus rocks into him. Alec is dizzy with pleasure, he can’t help arching back, his nails scraping down Magnus’ back and he fucks into him.

It was odd, having hardly known Magnus, and only hating what he did know, somehow Alec has never felt so complete in his life, none of the rivalry and hatred mattered now as Magnus pressed into him, he felt full like never before, stretched to the limits but in a way that was so utterly satisfying that Alec felt like he could do this forever, suspended in this abyss of pleasure, Magnus whole body pressed against his, heartrates beating in tandem, stomachs fluttering and coiling in unison.

They rocked together, hips rolling and thrusting in a mind-blowing, incredible rhythm, leaving Alec gasping and moaning. The pleasure grew inside him, igniting like fire, bright and strong, burning Alec from the inside out, it welled inside him. Alec glanced up at Magnus and his breath hitched, Magnus looked like a wet dream; sweat glistening on his golden skin, his eyes half-lidded and smoky with desire, his lips, kiss-swollen and bitten, he was the picture of debauched, Alec knows he must looked just as well fucked but seeing Magnus like this; he was _beautiful_ , and Alec couldn’t handle it, just seeing him, mouth open in a moan, hair falling onto his face, make up smudged, so unlike his usual appearance, it brought Alec closer to the edge than he’d ever admit. He slipped his eyes closed once more and loses himself in the pleasure.

With one more well aimed thrust Alec was pushed over the edge in a seemingly endless drop, wave after wave of pleasure rushing over him like a tsunami, his body shook as bliss exploded through him making him see stars. He could feel Magnus follow right after, a loud moan sounded near his ear as Magnus bit into his shoulder. They held onto each other, trembling as pleasure rocked through them until they both floated down, softly hitting the ground as the aftershocks gently faded, leaving them panting heavily, still tangled up.

Magnus kissed him once more and Alec lost himself in the sensation, his heart calming as Magnus gently coaxed his lips open, licking into Alec’s mouth with ease, before pulling back and rolled off Alec, quickly disposing of the condom before flopping back onto the bed until they were side by side, staring at the ceiling.

They basked in the silence for a few moments, letting their bodies calm down, drifting into the calmness of the afterglow that follows good sex. “So that was—” Alec trailed off, not knowing how to possible put in words how good he felt.

“A really good fucking time.” Magnus continued, a smile clear in his voice, and Alec, well he couldn’t help but agree because it really was, the sex was mind-blowing, he hadn’t had sex this good in a very long time, if ever.

They fell back into a comfortable silence and Magnus pulled the blankets over them, Alec drifted, finding that soft place in between sleep and wakefulness, until he remembered something Magnus said earlier that night and couldn’t help but laugh, causing Magnus to turn to him, an inquisitive expression on his face and Alec chuckled, “I was just remembering what you said about hate sex.”

Magnus laughed with him, “Well it was delicious, not going to lie I had fun.”

Alec smiled, “Me too.”

They laughed together for a few moments before settling down went back to staring at the ceiling, the peaceful silence from before washing over the room once more and finally, they both drifted off to sleep.

\----

Tonight, Alec and Magnus aren’t enemies, they aren’t leaders of two separate motorcycle gangs, they don’t hate each other, tonight they’re just two ordinary people; two human beings, two lovers, but only for tonight 

\----

Alec woke up slow and satisfied with a warm weight pressed into his back. He hadn’t felt this well rested in ages, even with the slight ache in the back of his head, no doubt from the alcohol he consumed the night before, Alec felt good. The morning sun peaked through the blinds, plunging the room in a warm glow and Alec let himself drift, his eyes closed on their own accord, his sore muscles languid and lazy from a night well spent, he never wanted to move, instead, he would gladly slip safely back into Morpheus’ arms until he felt ready to face the day.

_But where was that warmth coming from?_

Alec opened his eyes slightly once more and glanced over his shoulder only to find hair and a face nuzzled into his neck, he glanced down and saw a tan arm around his waist and it clicked, him and Magnus ended up cuddling during the night. Normally Alec would be put off, he never cuddled with his one-night stands, but this felt different, he liked this; it calmed him, sparking a soft warmth within him, relaxing him, he closed his eyes once more, relaxing for a moment or two couldn’t hurt, so he let himself be carried away once more by the comforting warmth that seemed to seep into his every pore.

That is until his brain caught up with his body and his eyes flew open, the air punched out of his lungs. Last night came flooding back in, images and swirls of colour invading Alec’s mind making him dizzy. He slept with Magnus Bane, _holy fucking shit_ , _he slept with MAGNUS BANE._ He slept with his rival, his enemy, the person he was supposed to hate with his entire heart and soul. The leader of the gang his people had fought against since as long as Alec could remember, over everything, and Alec had _fucked him_.

“Shit,” Alec was panicking, he needed to get out of here, this was a mistake, a horrible, thoughtless mistake. He scrambled out of bed, jolting Magnus in the process, causing him to groan at being suddenly awakened.

Magnus sat up confused as Alec rushed to get his clothes, his tired eyes scanning the room until they locked on Alec and he promptly froze, “Oh _fuck._ ” He then proceeded to scramble out of bed for his own clothes, “fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Yeah you said that already,” Alec snapped as he pulled on his clothes.

Magnus growled, as he pulled on his own clothes, “Well excuse me for freaking out because I just fucked the leader of a rival gang.”

“I’m freaking out too ok!” Alec exclaimed, “but we need to think rationally, this was a mistake, it’s not going to happen again, ever, in fact, _it never happened_.”

Magnus nodded, “Agreed, I can’t believe I fucked a Shadowhunter.”

Alec snorted as he bent over looking under the bed for his gun he no doubt dropped somewhere during the night, when he couldn’t find it he groaned, he did not need this right now. He stood up and glanced around the room until he heard a whistle behind him, “looking for this?”

Alec spun around and saw Magnus twirling his Colt 1911 in his elegant hands, he was fully dressed, gorgeous as ever in his suit, and Alec was starkly reminded of just who he was, and it was infuriatingly hot, “It’s a beautiful gun.”

He stroked up the handle, caressing it in such a way, familiar yet delicately, that sent a jolt of heat through Alec. He firmly ignored it and grabbed for it and tucked into the back of his pants, “thank you.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, “you’re welcome.” He straightens his suit jacket, smoothing his hands down his front and Alec struggles not to follow the movement with his eyes, remembering a similar move the night before, “by the way,” Alec snaps his eyes up to meet Magnus’, “you were just an itch I needed to scratch, nothing more.”

Alec snorted, “yeah I know, same to you.”

Magnus trailed his eyes over Alec once more as if analyzing him before averting them quickly, “Good.”

“Good.”

They spend the next few minutes making themselves presentable in a tense silence, their hearts beating wildly as they snuck glances at one another, oblivious to the internal struggles they were both experiencing ( _how was this a mistake if it didn’t feel like one_ ). They made sure to keep their distance, not saying a word but in their haste, they both reach the door at the same time, hands accidentally brushing and they both freeze.

For a moment no one moves, they stand there, hands still touching, eyes locked.

They take one breath, _two, three_ ….

And then they’re colliding once again, like galaxies, bright and bold; tearing at each other’s clothing, desperate for skin. They kissed, more teeth than anything, devouring each other and moved against each other, gyrating, grinding, dancing against each other, dirty and sinuous. It was quick this time but no less passionate. It was good, so, so very good.

Once it was all over, however, they knew it had to be the last time, this was a dangerous game, one neither of them were prepared for.

They once again got dressed in silence. Alec straightened out his clothes, and drew a hand through his hair, he looked at Magnus, “Never again.”

Magnus nodded, a promise in his eyes, “never again.”

With that, Alec opened the door and they both left the room, each walking the opposite way, without so much as a glance back.

\----

_And so, the game begins._


	2. I Can't Help but Want You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere it all becomes blurry and they start to care; they start to fall. And suddenly it’s more than sex. Suddenly it’s everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello angels, I know I've been absent for ages, many apologies for that, however I promise, I swear with all my soul that I am back and ready to write up a storm, now without further ado, please enjoy this chapter, love u. Actually no, wait quick thank you to my darling Alex and Madison and Nin and Yara and Mary, you girls are my support and my heart. I would be lost without you all, seriously. Thank them, they inspire me everyday, ok now, enjoy!!

Alec zips around the corner on his bike, the finish line not even a mile away, he starts to grin, adrenaline and something sweet zinging in his veins; something like victory. He pushed his bike just a bit harder as he saw the finish line, even though consciously he knew he was years in front of his competitors he was never one to back down from speed.

When he finally clears the finish line, he can’t help but let out a joyful yell, no matter how many times he’s done this, the high never changes; the anticipation, excitement and speed rushing through his veins. The heady warmth that spreads like liquid gold throughout his body from a win, it satisfies him to his very bones, while simultaneously electrifying him, pushing him for more, making him crave _more, more and more_.

He loves the adrenaline that sets him alight, the competition that brings out his ruthlessness in the most innocent of ways.

He loves to win.

Alec jumps of his bike and immediately he is surrounded by his gang, their cheers loud in his ear as they hug and pat him on the back.

Once again, the _Shadowhunters_ established their dominance. A satisfied grin pulls at his faces, it’s good to be king.

It wasn’t easy to beat them, _in anything._                       

And Alec prided himself in the fact, he worked hard to get where he was. It wasn’t easy, it was war, bloody and painful. But he’s here now, and his people ruled the streets of New York, whether topside or underground, or the places no one would dare wander, _New York is theirs._

And tonight, he was in the mood to paint the city of New York in gold. He could feel the adrenaline from the race, coursing through his veins, stronger than any drug, the atmosphere was charged with energy, radiating from the people around him, dousing him in an exhilarating ecstasy. These were the moments Alec truly loved life, but he wanted more than a party, there was a keen want buzzing beneath his skin, for something more (someone more).

Races had always got his blood flowing, making him excitable and jumpy but mostly horny, he knew exactly more what he wanted. He looked around the crowd, but no one caught his interest, immediately, however, his mind reminded him of just who caught his interest, _a man with golden eyes and caramel skin, built like a dancer, yet lethal as a sword with his sharp tongue and plump lips._

Alec’s body immediately reacted to his thoughts, arousal jumping low in his stomach, his heart kicking up a notch, he licked his lips unconsciously at the thought of spending another yet night with _Magnus Bane_.

Alec smirked, he knew exactly what he wanted. Magnus Bane would be the perfect treat; the perfect trophy for the night, a forbidden fruit that Alec is begging to taste once again.

“Yo dude!” Jace exclaims from his left, jolting Alec out of his thoughts as he threw an arm around him, “let’s go celebrate your win yeah?! Get some hot ass, maybe.” He winked at Alec.

Alec rolled his eyes, “the only _hot ass_ you want is one that you can’t have, who would even want Simon’s ass.” Alec shivered, he didn’t want to think about that. “But nah, I’m good I have plans.”

Isabelle sidled up to them, looping an arm through Alec’s, a devious smirk painted on her beautiful face, “And what plans are those, big brother? Do tell.”

Alec shook off his siblings before walking back to his bike, ignoring his nosy siblings, “none of your business, see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow huh!?” Jace called after him, Isabelle snickered, “looks like someone is gonna get laid.”

Alec smirked as he slid his helmet on, _oh you have no idea._

\----

Magnus finds himself in that same bar the next night, he refuses to think too much as to why he chose _this one_ , after all that happened the night before. It had a good atmosphere and was almost always busy after all. There was no other reason. There couldn’t be. He throws back his drink quickly, trying to clear his thoughts as images flash through his mind; _pale, almost delicate skin, all hard muscle and coiled strength under his hands, a playful smirk and hazel eyes._

He orders another immediately, and casts his gaze around the crowded bar, hoping someone would catch his eye.

But no one jumped out.

Magnus shook himself, he has never been like this before, he found beauty in everything—in everyone. So why couldn’t he find beauty tonight?

 _Maybe because you’re looking for a certain person_ , his subconscious whispered. Magnus grimaced, he needed his mind to shut up. He wasn’t looking for _anybody,_ especially not Alec Lightwood. Plus, he had slept once, _just once_ with the guy, it was a simple hook-up and between rivals nonetheless. This wasn’t fucking _Romeo & Juliet_, there was no life-changing moment when they locked eyes or kissed or fucked, this was reality, and Magnus should not be so goddamned affected.

_But why not?_

Magnus considered this question, Alec was a good lay. In fact, the sex, it was mind-blowingly spectacular. He had never quite ever had sex that good, but it had also been quite some time. Not to mention Alec was hot as fuck— _no_ scratch that, he wasn’t just hot, he was an _Adonis_. He was truly beautiful, otherworldly so and it _pissed Magnus off_.

Magnus rolled his eyes at himself, he was being ridiculous. He just need to find another quick fuck and it’ll be fine. He scans the bar once again, and feels the breath punched out of him, _nofuckingway_ , entering the bar was none other than _Alec fucking Lightwood_.

They lock eyes almost immediately and suddenly Alec is headed straight for him. Magnus feels an anxious shiver up his spine, he was _not_ in the mood for this (or maybe he wasn’t ready).

“Funny running into you here,” Magnus deadpans when Alec reaches the bar.

Alec snorts and rolls his eyes, “I’m here for a drink, just like you.”

“Just a _drink_?” Magnus raised an eyebrow, “you’re literally vibrating with adrenaline, you did a race didn’t you? Hah, just a drink my ass.”

“Well okay,” Alec admitted, a smirk growing on his full lips, pupils dilated, he gave Magnus a quick once over, “maybe something a little more. He leaned in close, invading Magnus’ personal space, his voice dropping low, “a little reward for winning.”

Magnus barely suppressed a shiver, berated himself for being so affected, “You are playing a dangerous game, Mr. Lightwood.”

“Maybe it’s danger that I want.”

Magnus glanced at Alec, his hair was a windswept mess, his hazel eyes dark and alluring, a lazy (infuriatingly sexy) smirk playing on his lips, he really looked edible and a part, if not all of Magnus just wanted to devour him. Magnus gritted his teeth, Alec was the forbidden fruit, the ecstasy Magnus’ body seemed to crave. They may have only slept together once ( _twice_ ), but there was something addicting about Alec. But he had to resist, he was born and raised to hate the _Shadowhunters_ , giving in would only mean trouble.

But Magnus has always been drawn to trouble. ( _And Alec was the best kind of trouble_ )

 _No, no he has to resist_. _Or people would get hurt._

He had his one time, he made the move the night before when he shouldn’t have. He made the mistake, unable to resist the temptation presented before him. He had his one time and that is it. He should just get up and walk away. This push and pull could never end well.

“The game I’m playing _Lightwood_ ,” Magnus responded, cold and menacing, “is not one you want to play, or mess with, find it elsewhere.”

Alec rolled his eyes, “That’s not what you said last night, but whatever, I didn’t come here for you anyway, have a good night _Mr. Bane._ ”

Magnus opened his mouth in retort, but Alec had spun away, walking away, a purposeful sway in his hips, yet not even a glance back. Magnus eyes helplessly following, until he shook himself. Fuck this, fuck him, _oh you would like to, wouldn’t you?_   His brain needed to shut up. He regretted the night before even though he may have initiated a lot of the events, he was just a little drunk, horny and lonely. He needed the company.

 _And_ it would have been nice to have some company tonight, but Alec ruined it. There was no point in staying, he had better things to do. Magnus ordered one last drink and downed it, he got up and threw some cash on the bar, with every intention on leaving, and he’s halfway to the door when he once again locks eyes with Alec, his night really was going in circles.

He’s sitting in booth, two attractive men on either side of him and he smiles deviously at Magnus before taking a slow, sensual sip from his glass of whiskey and licked his lips, savouring the taste. Magnus clenches his fists. Alec doesn’t stop there, he turns toward the man sitting on his right and kisses him, slow and deep, as if making love with his mouth. Magnus is captivated, as the other man leans in and kisses down throat, causing Alec to break from the kiss and throw his back, a blissed-out expression taking over his face.

Magnus is helpless as an image of the night before flashes through his mind _, Alec, eyes closed in the throes of pleasure as Magnus kisses and licks up his neck, positively keening when Magnus bites down. It makes Magnus feel good, powerful even, seeing the fearless leader of the Shadowhunters affected by the smallest of things. It makes him feel even better that he gets to be the one privileged enough to see it. He almost admires how Alec hides nothing in pleasure._

Something within Magnus snaps, his resolve he had spent the entire night building tumbling down in a matter of seconds.

Alec knows how to play the game. Very well.

And Magnus came here for a _good fucking time_ and he’s going to get it.

If Alec can play, so can he.

He scanned the bar, eyes stopping on a beautiful brunette, and his lips curved into a smirk as her eyes met his, a gorgeous smile lighting up her face in invitation. Magnus could _certainly play_.

He made his way over, a confident saunter in his step, “Are you by chance looking for company?”

The woman smiled, “I am now, please.”

Magnus smiled right back, he took a seat, “What’s your poison for the night, sweetheart?”

“Why do you ask?” She asked. Magnus knew she knew why, but he liked that she was playing along.

“Just wanted to know what the feeling is tonight, sweet? Spicy? Bold? Maybe, I could buy a pretty lady a drink,” Magnus replied.

“Well then,” The woman pondered playfully, “I think I’m feeling Sex on the Beach.” A cheeky smile on her lips.

Magnus laughed, loud and bright and he could immediately feel eyes on him, he glanced over and sure enough, hazel eyes met his, a fire dancing in them, he just smirked, and his attention was back on his potential prospect, “I like how you think—” he pauses, prompting for a name.

“Daisy.”

“Daisy— _Daisy_ , a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. A symbol of sincerity and innocence, although I highly doubt the latter.”

Daisy snorted, “Wow you’re certainly one smooth charmer. Flower language, I’m impressed, and you know what they say, innocence is overrated.”

Magnus winked, “I agree, and darling I sure am. Is it working?”

“Only because I have a thing for dorky as fuck guys.”

Magnus laughed again, maybe this night would end well for him after all, might as well play up the persona, “Hey! I am not that dorky! In fact, I’m the opposite, I’m smooth as velvet.”

Daisy laughed again, and the conversation flowed easily after that, as did the drinks, until once again he glanced over at Alec, who was being showered in attention by both men, their hands stroking up his chest, still kissing him; nipping and biting at his throat like before. Magnus clenched his teeth, as if he could feel eyes on him, Alec’s opened, and they were locked in a battle once more.

One of the men bit at Alec’s Adam’s apple and Magnus could almost feel the gasp that fell from Alec’s lips, reminiscent of the one Magnus pulled from him the night before, doing the exact thing. Magnus broke eye contact purposely and leaned in closer to Daisy, loosening his tie and whispering coy into her ear, “I was wondering if I could get a taste of that _sex on the beach_ you were having.”

Daisy turned her head towards him, their faces a hairbreadth apart, “There’s none left.”

Magnus intentionally let his gaze drop to her lips and her breath hitched, “ _I know_.” He leaned in, his breath, a whisper upon her rosy lips, “I was hoping to get a taste of it on _you._ ”

And then they were kissing, her mouth pliant and hot under his, it a nice kiss, not wholly innocent yet doused in sweetness, but Magnus was looking for fire. ( _A_ specific _fire_ )

As they pulled away from the kiss, Magnus saw movement at the corner of his eye, he knows right away who it is (because that’s exactly where his mind has been all night). He sees Alec heading for the washroom and he is helpless against the pull to follow him, he excuses himself with a wink and beelines for the bathroom.

His every step heavy with acceptance, he knows he will regret this later ( _will you though?)._ But, screw it, he came here for company, he might as well get it with someone he knows he has had fun with. Even if it meant that he might burn himself. ( _and others, if only he knew how much)_

_What’s one more night?_

\---

He opens the washroom door and enters, only to be immediately pushed against the wall, Alec lips on his, Magnus returns the kiss with fervour, licking into Alec’s mouth with ease before switching their positions, slipping a thigh between Alec’s legs and grinds down, _hard_ , a surge of heat sparks through him as Alec moves with him, their cocks align, and Magnus is momentarily blinded with pleasure.

It goes like this for the next few moments: their bodies _grinding, sliding, rutting against each other,_ desperate and begging, like teenagers during their first time. They don’t kiss, they could barely breathe all they could do was pant against each other’s mouths as they burned, with every shift of their hips, with every caress of a hand, a spark kindled. But it wasn’t enough, but it’s too much at the same time. Magnus put a hand between them, palming Alec’s dick through pants, making him cant his hips for more and laugh breathlessly, “So you changed your mind then?”

Magnus growled, “fuck you.”

Alec laughed, a self-satisfied smirk gracing his infuriatingly handsome face, “well if you insist.”

He pushed off the wall, pushing Magnus until he was half seated on the counter near the sink, and before Magnus could utter a word, Alec was kissing him, deep and open, before moving down, suckling and biting at Magnus’ neck making him moan wantonly. Alec already seemed to know his weakest spots, it was dangerous that he did, and Magnus _loved it_.  He hitched his legs around Alec’s waist, his hips jerking in search for more friction. Alec moves to unbuckle their pants as Magnus pushes his hands up Alec’s shirt, greedy for more, more and _more_.

Once their cocks are free, Alec wasted no time, he takes their cocks in hands and starts moving, his hips and hand in tandem and Magnus is drowning in pleasure. Alec crowds in lose, sucking on his lower lop and biting down on his lip, pulling a whimper from Magnus’ throat.

“Alec” Magnus gasping, urging him, he wanted more, he wanted Alec inside him. He was completely at his mercy, as shockwave after shockwave of pleasure was straight to his dick, but Magnus could careless, he could feel fire lick up his spine and _fuck_ would be happy to burn.

Alec lowers his hips and grinds against Magnus’ thigh, Magnus almost whines at the loss of friction but then Alec is pulling out a condom and slipping it on, “Are you ready, just like this?”

Magnus rolled his hips as a response, and looked at Alec from under his eyelashes, a seductive smile on his lips, “What do you think, _pretty boy?_ ”

Alec smirked right back as he lined up, wicked and dirty, “I think you’re just about _begging_ for my cock.”

And in any other instance Magnus would scoff, yet Alec wasn’t wrong, he wanted, and he wanted it _bad_ , “Why don’t you fuck my tight, hot ass and find out,” he scraped his nails down Alec’s lower back, making him shiver, “ _Alexander.”_

Without another word Alec thrusts inside him, and Magnus’ back arches helplessly as he’s stretched open, the burn lighting up his every nerve. He gasps as Alec sinks in further, until he’s bottomed out, Alec establishes a quick rhythm, fucking fast and hard into Magnus, who groans and rocks his hips into Alec, making his hips stutter. He buries his face in Magnus shoulder, biting at the skin there.

Magnus drags him back into a kiss with one hand and reaches between them with his free hand, jerking himself off in time with Alec’s thrusts.

“ _Fuck”_ Alec swears, breaking off the kiss, “ _so hot, so fucking hot_.”

His thrusts become more forceful, with less rhythm, more erratic, _wild_. It’s good, so, so good. They’re both climbing higher, higher and higher. Magnus is lost in an indescribable pleasure, burning him up from the inside out. He feels like he’s shaking apart, as Alec moves within him, hot and slick. He’s suspended in a permanent state of please, as wave after wave crashes over him, a tsunami only building in intensity before completely sweeping him away, Alec following right behind. Leaving them both a gasping mess, clutching at each other and for a moment, every in the universe was frozen in time, the sun, the moon and stars, as they chased their pleasure together. The reality of their lives, who they are, who they were supposed to be, it didn’t matter.

They came down from their highs slowly, coming back to themselves in a lazy manner.

They dress in silence, the smell of sweat and sex floating in the air.

When their eyes lock, it is clear that neither can come to regret what they had just done. They were past that. In fact, the fire that was so prominent in their actions still lingered, begging to be stoked to full intensity. They wanted more.

Alec cleared his throat, “we used those people back there.”

Magnus scoffed, now was not the time for a moral compass, “do you really care that we did?”

Alec shrugged, a nonchalant smile on his face, “Not one bit.”

“Good,” Magnus stated, “meet me upstairs then,” he threw a key card at Alec, “or don’t, your choice.”

Without another glance, he exited the washroom.

This time, Alec didn’t even hesitate to follow.

\---

Neither noticed the woman that Magnus was with—Daisy pulled out her phone and dialed a number…

“Yes, he left with the leader of the _Shadowhunters_ , I’ll continue to collect intel.”

\---

The third time it happens, they’re both at _Pandemonium_ , a club both their gangs frequent. It’s a night off, their guards are down, alcohol has been flowing, the music vibrating within them, the beat thundering like a heartbeat as they dance closely, drunk each other as they grind against one another, gyrating hips like they’re in the bedroom. Their hands wandering, skin caressing skin, kissing a little too deeply and openly. Lost in each other as they move together in a hypnotizing rhythm. Their movements deliberate, eyes fluttering as cheeks flush in barely contained arousal.

Agile fingers straying, searching for pure skin on skin contact, tongues lapping at the rivulets of sweat. Their bodies fitting perfectly, muscles quivering and tensing with every swirl of hips, with every kiss seared across skin, with every movement. The air hot, filled with an irresistible lust. 

They are suffocating in desire.

That night, they don’t make it to a hotel room, no, too desperate for each other, they fuck right in the club, in a private room.

It was only by pure luck that none of their people saw them, they should be more careful, they were risking everything, but this game was too enticing.

They were in deep.

\---

The fourth time is after a race against each other, they both cross the finish line at the same time, _if that isn’t poetic justice_. Adrenaline pulses within their veins and they sneak off, leaving their gangs to wreak havoc, fight, break bottles, make a mess, as they argue who actually won.

They fuck hard and fast that night, competition still beating like a drum inside their chests.

\---

They establish that it’s a _thing_ after that time, they knew they liked fucking each other even if they hated one another. They liked the pleasure but loved the danger of the game even more.

It becomes routine, meeting at that bar; that hotel room where it all started.

\---

Magnus stumbles in once, bruised knuckles and a bloody lip, Alec pulls him close, a question in his shining hazel eyes. He can’t shake the concern when he sees Magnus is hurt. But Magnus just smirks, feral and wild, “I won, you should see the other guy.”

Alec laughs, worry forgotten and pulls him down onto the bed, paying extra attention and care to his bruises.

\---

They stop counting after the tenth time, when Alec walks into the hotel room, almost as if in a trance, eyes blank void of life, his handsome features twisted in pain and fury.

“I killed someone today,” he whispers, “but only because they killed one of mine, I couldn’t let it go, I had to Magnus _, I had to._ ” Magnus doesn’t even think twice as he hushes him and takes Alec into his arms.

He goes to lay them down, and Alec doesn’t resist. Trusting blindly, the one that should be his enemy. They lay intertwined, together for awhile, and Magnus is ready to stay like that the entire night, because he knows, no matter what they’ve done, or what they’ve seen, it’s never easy.  But Alec begs, quietly and pleading, _“help me please, help me feel something other than guilt_.” His eyes begin to water, and the thought of Alec sad and hurting like this sends a shiver down Magnus’ spine, he doesn’t examine as to why. Maybe because he would want the same. He can’t bear it, and so that night Magnus makes love to him, deep and slow.

\---

Somewhere it all becomes blurry and they start to care; they start to fall. And suddenly it’s more than sex. Suddenly it’s everything.

\---

It’s an established routine by now, they come together where it all started, at the hotel, it’s familiar and nice. A comfort at the end of the day, a release of the tensions that come with being a leader.

Spending time together, being together is something they look forward to, against their better judgement. It’s become a safe space, where they can just be Alec and Magnus; _Alec and Magnus_ , just two normal human beings, chasing their pleasure. Together they can pretend, reality slips away; the blood on their hands, the guilt, the power, it all disappears, if only for a few hours. They’re not gang leaders; figures reminiscent of Atlas with a world of responsibilities on each of their shoulders.

It’s their time, a door into a world outside their own, a forbidden escape.

Then everything changes.

Magnus is waiting in the hotel room, nursing a glass of wine, his third to be specific as he was going stir crazy. Him and Alec had agreed to meet, they’d both had tough week, but Alexander was late, he was _never_ late. It was infuriating really, annoyed Magnus on the best of days, it doesn’t matter now however, because he’s two hours late and usually Magnus waits for no one.

But fuck, if he wasn’t worried. _Fuck he was worried_.

Magnus didn’t know when it happened, but he began to care, it wasn’t love, no, not even close ( _not yet_ ). But somehow Alec has wormed his way under Magnus’ skin and latched on; unstoppable and wild like he is, yet steadfast in a storm. They say the most beautiful things were often the most dangerous, and Alec was exactly that. He was stunning, an angel in looks, a wet dream come to life. Yet he was lethal, all coiled strength ready to snap a cunning painted like a blade on his plush, rosy lips. He was the devil, a walking sin that Magnus’ body, mind, his very soul craved. He was the forbidden apple in the garden.

Magnus huffed, maybe he was reading too much into this, maybe Alec was okay, and he just couldn’t come. It shouldn’t be a big deal, Magnus shakes himself, he was better than this, he refused to sit and stew for any longer. He had better things to do anyway. He moved to get up and leave, but then the distinct sound of a key card being slipped into the lock vibrates across the room, and Magnus freezes.

When he sees the familiar mop of messy black hair, he starts to smile, but it falls from his face just as quickly, as Alec stumbles in, covered in blood looking pale and weak. The blood was his from what Magnus could tell, and it looked bad. Really fucking bad, Alec was bleeding from multiple places, pain was splashed clearly across his face, Magnus' breath catches in his throat. Alec takes a few more staggered steps in the room and their eyes lock, his hazel eyes dulled with pain, his mouth twists up in a grimace of a smile, blood painting his teeth, “So it wasn’t you and your gang who ordered the hit, good to know.”

And he passed out.

\---

_That is where it all begins (or ends)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you soon, and this time I promise, xox. Kudos and Comments are always appreciated, yours truly @alecwinchesterr, on Twitter.

**Author's Note:**

> TBC...... tell me what you thought angels, love you and thank you for reading, see you soon xo. -S (it's time for National Anthem)


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